3rd Do-Over Challenge-- REVEAL/PARTY!

... Okay, so I feel like a complete moron. I totally thought the hop/reveal was today-- so I'm a day late to the party!

(Next time I should probably write the deadline on my calendar, instead of in my head...)

It's all for the best, really. I wasn't feeling that great yesterday, health-wise, so I spent the whole day recuperating and resting. I'm feeling much better today-- albeit a little sheepish about the mix-up.

So I have been RIDICULOUSLY excited about this reveal. A while back, I received a package in the mail~ a necklace from Jeannie, as a participant in her third do-over challenge. All of us who participated, received one of her older pieces, one that she made when she first started doing jewelry-- in her words, an "old, tired piece" that she "won't" sell-- and our challenge was to transform it into something different and new.

Here is the piece I received:

The glass colors are VERY subtle-- I had to put the piece against my watercolor paper, to show the color of the piece! In reality, it's much less bright. It's more like a watered-down shade, more like a white glass with a slight tint of color.

I loved the construction of her necklace, but the beads themselves were very pale-- and those who know me, know that I don't "do" pale pieces. I love color, and love bright things. It was definitely a challenge for me! But here is the piece that it became:

I figured, since I photographed the original on plain paper, it's only fair to do the same to mine~

I absolutely LOVE this necklace, and I'm so proud of myself! I had never done the wrapping technique used in both her necklace and mine, so it was quite the learning experience for me. I used brass wire and brass links-- and in addition to the faceted glass from Jeannie's piece, I threw in some crystal beads (faceted, slightly smaller-- you can see them flanking the off-white and blue beads) that I got from Suma and some beads that were VERY special to me!

I was so proud of this piece that as soon as I finished it, I woke Hubby up to show him!

The small square beads (between the green, purple, pink and blue ones) were absolutely perfect for this, since they only came in those four colors! I got them *years* ago, when I was only twelve-- my grandmother gave me a gift card to a bead shop near her house, but the items I sold back then weren't "right" for the beads. I've held onto them for years, waiting to find the right project to use them. And I am SO GLAD for that... because they were beyond perfect for this necklace!!!

You can see the square beads and the small faceted crystals much better in these next couple of photos~

I wish I remembered what the squares were made out of!

Oh, and I almost forgot-- in addition to doing over Jeannie's jewelry, I also took apart one that my mom gave me-- the large amber-colored glass beads, between the blues towards the bottom, were taken from a bracelet that was past its prime:

It's got three sections to it, design-wise~ this is one side, the one I took the beads from! See what I mean?

The center cabochon and brass focal bead is another "special" item for me. A local handmade jeweler used to sell her items once a year out of her house, and my mom and I always went. She was so impressed with my interest in the jewelry that she gave me (and I bought) BAGS full of metal pieces that were fixed up by her. This center piece was one of them-- like the square beads, it was one of those things that I'd held on to, waiting for the perfect piece of jewelry to come along. And here it was, and here it is!

Close-up of the focal "bead"-- it's more like a component, but details-shmetails...

I absolutely love this piece-- I am so proud of myself and of the work! I was originally planning on selling the finished piece, but now that I've seen it I think I'm going to keep it for my own collection. I have a few outfits that will be completely completed by this-- and I put aside a few purple beads to put together some earrings, to match! I just have to wait for some brass ear wires to arrive...

Looks like it's time for me to do some hopping, and catch up on the A to Z when I'm done with that~ see you later!

A to Z, 2012-- S is for...

STITCH MARKERS!

Alright, you knitters out there know *exactly* what I'm talking about... you non-knitters are probably scratching your heads in utter confusion.

When you knit, you sometimes need to mark your place in the pattern. You do this when you need to know where to increase or decrease the number of stitches that you have, like when you're knitting up a sweater-- or when you need to mark where to start an intricate lace pattern on a scarf-- or when you need to mark the beginning of a new round of stitches on your sock, hat, or fingerless mitts.

I use stitch markers almost all the time. I love to knit "in the round," especially on double-pointed needles, so I'm always running out of them.

My knitting friends are always improvising when it comes to these important tools. Some friends make a loop out of a scrap of yarn that contrasts with whatever fabric you are currently using. Other friends use safety pins, and others still use washers from the hardware store. Chances are, if you know a knitter, he or she has something special that is used for marking stitches.

Ever since getting into jewelry design, I've thought about making them... but I always had something holding me back. But when my mother-in-law brought home two handmade stitch markers, given as a parting gift when she took a knitting class, my competitive edge kicked into gear. I instantly thought, "Hm.... they're cute, but I could TOTALLY do a better job with the construction!"

So I did. And here is the result:

Six little stitch markers, all in a row!

Here it is, on the needles~

I plan on selling these, and others like them, at the next market day. I couldn't find the "right" beads for this project, aside from the ones I used... and while I love these, I don't want a million "clones" in all the colors of the rainbow. Or better put, I'd like to do that in ADDITION TO other styles. Variety being the spice of life, and all.

So there you go. Would you use them? Would you buy them for a knitting friend? Or do you make them too? Knitters and non-knitters, let me know what you think!

A to Z, 2012-- O is for...

The OCEAN!

This photo (Copyright TJ Wasik) was taken by one of my best friends, on a trip to the USVI. The water was such a gorgeous color of blue!

So those of you who know me, know that I'm a water-baby through and through. Even though I was the slowest child on earth to learn how to swim (I don't think I took my swimmies off until I turned seven!), I've always loved being in the water and I practically grew up in the ocean.

Look at me-- a nautical natural! Ahoy, mateys and Mickeys! Of course I look like a natural on the water... I am a Cancer, after all, and that makes me a crab baby! Just look at those "claws", expertly holding onto my food~

See, my grandparents had a boat. Every summer, I would visit them-- sometimes with my mom and dad and brother, sometimes on my own. We would ride over to a nearby barrier island, park in the marina, and stay for as long as we liked. There was the bay (shown above, older my shoulder), there was the ocean (not pictured above), there was sand as far as the eye could see. We had boogie boards and money for ice cream cones, and when I was tired of playing in the water there were parks next to the marina, with swings and slides and monkey bars.

The ocean was where I got to spend time with my family and read as many books as I liked. But most importantly, the ocean was where I learned not just how to make jewelry, but where I grew to love it and learned how to sell it!

(I'll talk more about that at a later date. If I put it in this blog post, it would be longer than some of Hemmingway's short stories!)

In any case, the ocean is a place that fills me with joy. When I am there, I am filled with a warm and blissful calm. When I am thinking about it, I can't help but smile.

And most importantly for this blog, it inspires me artistically.

A to Z, 2012-- L is for...

LOOKING. As in, looking at things like an artist.

This is a character from the TV show/anime "Sailor Moon." I drew this sometime in high school, using colored pencils as my medium. The pencils made it look choppy when scanned into the computer; the original was much more smooth and polished.

The first one is mine... and here's the original!

So many people over the years have said many lovely things about my artwork. So many people have said that they don't have an artistic bone in their body. That they could never do what I do, or do it nearly as well as I do.

I call puckey of the bull on *THAT*.

While there is a certain degree to which artistic talent will get you further, what a great deal of what people view as an innate gift is nothing more than the ability to look at things just a little differently. That's the true "trick" to any kind of art!

But what do I mean by this? How can you change your perspective?

First of all, there is a logical psychology to graphic design, which carries over to other areas of art. People's eyes are drawn in the way they read-- in the United States and Europe, that means left to right, up to down. Now that you know this, use it to your advantage. Putting objects in areas where they are less "expected"-- in other words, the upper right and lower left corners-- draws in your viewers because it is visually unexpected.

There is also the psychology of color and object placement. Since our eyes are drawn downward, putting dark colors or the primary illustration on the bottom half or an image makes it seem "heavy". To "lighten" it up, put those darker colors and the majority of your illustration on the top of your page. Having the lighter colors on the bottom, and having it more sparsely filled in, will create visual interest.

See what I mean? The placement of color DOES make a difference. And by having fewer items on the bottom, more items on the top, and arranging them in "unexpected" corners, it creates a more active dynamic and is more intriguing for your audience to observe.

Another crucial element of design is the concept of numbering-- don't forget that nature is either perfectly symmetrical or comes in odd numbers! Whether you're painting mountain ranges or trees, people will almost always paint either one or three. Butterflies wouldn't be the same without their symmetry, but they also are almost invariably drawn as an individual or an odd number. If you were to click on those links and decide which images are the most artistically beautiful, the odds are against you choosing an "even" image.


Regarding the process itself, rather than looking at your chosen subject as a whole, look at it through the lens of shapes. Look for shapes inside and around the object, and use these smaller shapes to help you "build" it up. A person, for example, is made up of circles and ovals and rectangles; a floor lamp could be divided into a long skinny rectangle and an oval and trapezoid.


Art is a personal expression of your own viewpoint, so don't worry too much about doing something wrong! Ultimately it is YOUR vision and YOUR subject and YOUR finished product... and even the psychology "rules" can be broken. There are very few mistakes in art that can't be fixed, one way or another-- and in many cases, it's the mistakes that help us learn the most about our craft.

So be fearless. Be creative. Be an ARTIST.

A to Z, 2012-- K is for...

KNITTING, of "kourse"!

This photo was taken a while back-- I've made much more progress on this project since then-- but I just HAD to show off this picture because I love the skirt I'm wearing!!!

I learned how to knit when I was only three years-old. My mother taught me how, probably after I begged so much that my voice was hoarse. I remember that she was knitting a lot back then, and I wanted to be just like her. I made a small red square.

... Well... half of a small red square.

... Well... okay, it was way less than half a square. Mommy cast-on and knit half of it to get it started and show me, then helped me for a few rows, then I did a few rows on my own... and then she did the bind-off.

But the point is, I learned. And I was pretty good for my age-- I made a lap blanket for Barbie! And then promptly forgot all about the process, until I was seven and she re-taught me. It's like riding a bike, she said. Once you learn you never forget.

Which was good to know, since she had to re-teach me again when I was turned ten, and yet again when I turned fifteen. By the time I got to college, I was probably the world's most expert beginner when it came to knitting!

I re-learned for the millionth time as a freshman, volunteering to knit items for homeless people. Yarn and needles were provided. Picture an entire room of people who were learning how to knit, just to accomplish the purpose of keeping some complete strangers warm in the winter. It was equal parts inspiring and ridiculous, since hardly anyone there knew what they were doing.

Thankfully I remembered what I was doing pretty quickly, and realized that wow, I actually had a knack for this! Not only did I have a knack for it, I was damn good! I was amazing! Swell! Wonderful! Impressive, even!

... and then I realized that while I had actually managed to knit the whole scarf up, it was all kinds of misshapen and icky. The kind of a project that only a mother could be proud of.

Which she was, by the way. Of course.

In any case, since I'd learned so many times throughout the years, I became quite good quite fast. I ended up teaching all my friends how to knit, at some point or another, and became known as the girl who always had yarn in her purse. I brought my yarn and needles to my brother's hockey games... to movie nights at college... to friend's houses... on the bus and train... at the baseball fields... if you can name it, I knit there at one time or another.

And I basically haven't stopped knitting since.

Now, as a special "thank you" to my blog readers, I have here a knitting pattern that I'm going to share with you all! YAAAAAYYYYY!!!

A to Z, 2012-- J is for...

ME!

No, wait... that's not quite right... well, I mean, it is, but it's not the word I want to talk about.

Today's word is Junk.

As much as I love to use fancy rocks and beautiful gems and whimsical glass, there is something to be said for creating something beautiful out of practically nothing. I believe that the term now is called "upcycling"-- using things that would have otherwise been discarded, for an entirely new purpose.

My mom picked up a pair of earrings down in Florida, made from soda can tabs and shells:

Thanks for sending me the photo, Mom! Love you lots <3

On Pinterest, you can find many more things like this-- a ring made out of an old fork,  a bracelet made out of old credit cards or gift cards, a bracelet made out of knitting needles, beads made out of old rulers, a bracelet made out of tape measures, a necklace out of old book pages...

Oh... I almost forgot... they have beads made out of paper, too! This example used Archie comics... I wonder who made it? They must be an AMAZING artist, and a wonderful handmade jeweler~ hee hee hee!

(By the way, those links are NOT from *my* Pinterest page... just someone who has very similar interests to mine!)



I love getting deals at thrift stores and bargains at yard sales. It's the thrill of the hunt-- the idea of finding something special that I can use for a project, something that has been discarded by someone else.

On my most recent thrift store expedition, I found two very interesting objects at an absolute steal-- less than $5 for both--

I'm going to have to do a close-up of each of these at some point. They're all really interesting beads-- carved from stone-- some of them look like chess pieces, others look like Transformers, others look like Aztec relics. Oh, and there's one bird thrown into the mix, too~

Or at least, I think it's a bird... either that or a fish...

And "found object" number two-- a brass bracelet, with black and white resin centers!

I've already taken apart the black and white and brass bracelet-- I'm using one of the "links" as a focal point on a necklace-- but I have NO IDEA what the stone beads are going to be yet.

My family always said that one man's trash is another man's treasure, and I couldn't agree more. Before you throw something away, think not what it is today, but what it *could* be.

See you all tomorrow. Happy creating!

A to Z, 2012-- F is for...

FASHION!

As a quick aside, there's only a short time left to sign up for my super-awesome giveaway-- I'm choosing the winner on Sunday at noon (Eastern WhateverTheyCallIt Time, since that's where I live), so sign up ASAP if you want to win the jewelry! Aaaand, we're done here. Back to our regularly scheduled program.

Fashion and art go hand in hand. In my opinion, they always have and they always will. Many people view them as completely different aspects of creation; I believe that their metaphorical lines intersect much more frequently than those people would think. Art can (and does) inspire trends in the fashion world, and all art (by it's nature) reflects the trending aesthetics of the time it is created-- and in some cases, the fashion IS art, or the art that is created is a fashionable and wearable item.

To those of you who are totally confused by what I mean, take a look at one of the most iconic paintings of all time~

"Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jette," painted in 1886 by Georges Seurat. Painted in the style of pointillism-- one of my absolute favorite styles of art, and one of my most favorite paintings, created by one of my favorite artists!

I know I'm starting to sound like Captain Obvious, but bear with me. Any painting (like the one above) that has the subjects in "current" dress will of course reflect contemporary fashion trends; if an artist chooses to paint a subject from a bygone era, modern aesthetics are still reflected because one's style is a reflection of current societal ideals of "art".

Conversely speaking, art influences fashion as well. Take a look at this one:

This one is titled "Composition II in Red, Blue, and Yellow"-- one of Piet Mondrian's most famous works!

One might wonder how such a simple painting could influence fashion. Well, wonder no more! Art can influence fashion for generations-- take a look here and here to see what I mean for some more evidence a la Captain Obvious.

Regarding the cross-over of fashion as art, and art as fashion, designers' couture runway shows and designs are a clear-cut example. The top designers are most definitely master artists, and their fashion is most DEFINITELY a form of art.

These are three of Betsey Johnson's designs. She is one of my favorite designers-- I love her use of color-- so bright and fun!

The designer herself, Ms. Johnson! I feel a kinship ;)

The next few are all by the same designer~

J'adore Dior! :D

I just HAD to add this one-- my blue!

And of course, another blue design, this one by Versace! I would wear this dress... if they made it in my size... and if it were anywhere close to my budget...

Jewelry, in my opinion, straddles the line of art and fashion, since it is both. When one creates jewelry as an art, fashion trends must be consulted and considered. At the same time, however, the jewelry also needs to reflect the aesthetic of the designer-- the artist-- because art without an artists' perspective is just another mass-produced item. If the final product does not reflect an artist or the artist's view then it is no longer art, simple as that.

Anyway, I could go on for days on this, but it should be clear to you all by now just how strongly I think art is connected to fashion. As Hubby would say, I think even Helen Keller in her current state would understand my views on this. Art and fashion are two sides of the same coin, neither more or less important than the other.

How does fashion influence you in YOUR creative work? Do any works of art inspire your fashion aesthetic? Or do any particular fashions (or eras of style) affect what you make? Leave a comment, because inquiring minds want to know!

A to Z, 2012-- E is for...

ELLA!

Not ella as in "under my umbr-ella-ella-ella"... Ella Fitzgerald!

Love the dress she's wearing-- I might just have to make one just like it for myself, minus the things that look vaguely like mealworms from a distance~!

I absolutely love this woman. She was an inspiration to so many other musical artists, an icon of her time, and a master of jazz and blues. Such class, such poise, and such a voice!

Now I *know* that at least one of you is asking yourself what on earth this lady has to do with my art and my jewelry.

Aside, of course, from the inexplicably powerful need to sing along to her music that I experience pretty much all the time... simply put, she inspires me. Her voice encourages me to create in ways that I can't explain~ my best work has been created while listening to her music.

My music needs change quite a bit depending on what medium I am working with, but no matter what I always end up going back to Ella and her contemporaries. Ella Fitzgerald, Helen Forrest, Duke Ellington, Sarah Vaughan, Louis Armstrong, Nat King Cole, and so many others... and don't forget all those fabulous "big bands" and big conductors they played with!

Ella and her friends shape my jewelry and my other art, much the same as the smell from a neighbor's barbecue shape one's dinner choices-- if it wafts into your senses, you feel the powerful need to make something that fits that aesthetic! Music is a big part of my life, and it is where I draw much of my artistic inspiration.

What music-- if any-- helps you create? Does music inspire you to get those creative juices flowing? If not, then what helps you put passion into your art?

There are only a few days left to enter my giveaway, so scroll your way back a few posts and enter to win-- the details are all there, along with pictures of the prize. Thanks for joining me today~ I'll see you tomorrow for yet another day in the A to Z blog hop!

A to Z, 2012-- B is For...

BLUE!

But first, a quick welcome to any new visitors I might have from the A to Z challenge-- and a reminder to all visitors, old and new, to sign up for my very first giveaway! Now that I've taken care of that bit of business...

Those who know me should not surprised that for me, as an artist, B stands for blue. Not just any blue-- Royal Blue.

I could have used the photos from MY wedding, since our color was Royal blue, but this was just way easier~!

Aw, hell, I might as well share one photo from my wedding! Pay no attention to the oversized bridal train, gorgeous as it may be. Look instead to the color worn by my bridesmaids-- yes, that blue-ish blur next to the beautiful big white thing.

This color of blue is near and dear to my heart for reasons I could never put into words. I even have several clothing items in Royal Blue~ a jacket, a skirt, a pair of shoes, a pair of earrings, a turtleneck, short sleeved tee-shirt...

I have NO IDEA what I'm running towards in this photo of myself from last year, but I think it has something to do with a fight between some cousins. I am the oldest, after all! All I know is that I'm NOT running from the all-in-black monster behind me. That's just one of the other "little" cousins, sillies, blacked out because he's still a "kid." Don't remind me that he's taller than I am...

Oh yes. And a royal blue sun dress. Only to be worn with the silliest of faces, of course.

A dear friend of mine told me that my strongest chakra is the throat. To those of you as ignorant as I was,  this means that my strengths lie in communication with others and expression of ideas, both expressive and receptive. It relates to creativity and the act of creating, and listening on all levels: to my own intuition, to those around me, and to the universe that surrounds me. Metaphorically speaking I wear many "hats", and as I write all of this, I realized that every one of them somehow relates to these ideas~ Artist... Musician... Fashion Designer... Teacher... Counselor... Blogger/Writer... Event Planner... the list goes on, but you get the idea.

And wouldn't you know it, the color of that chakra is blue.

Now I KNOW that someone out there is wondering what in tarnation this all has to do with my art.

The answer is unbelievably simple: I have an addiction to creating all things that are blue.

I absolutely ADORE my bead supplier (Suma in New York City) for having such a gorgeous wall. And for letting me take a photo of it, no less~!

Since I'm so drawn to blue shades, I always work extra hard to NOT create things in the color-- or better put, I experiment with other colors much more, because I don't want to have a jewelry line with no other color options. Sometimes it works and I end up with a nice variety of color options; other times, I go too far in the opposite direction and create NOTHING that is blue. But I always try to find that balance, despite my love affair with my absolute favorite color.

Do any of you have a color that "speaks" to you?

Day Twenty-Three, A Shopping Spree!!

And by "shopping spree," I mean that we got some new stones-- some stones I've been looking at for quite some time with wistful longing!

I was feeling quite down-in-the-dumps about a few things today, all of them related to one thing~ my health. Things are getting more complicated with my Endometriosis; my "bad days" now outnumber the "good" ones, and I'm spending an increasing amount of time bedridden and nauseous from the pain. Which means I'm missing out on life's events, both big and small.

Hubby knew I was upset about this, and came home with a FABULOUS "care package" for me. Most of it was consumed with great deliciousness; the beads (which are beautiful but not quite edible) will be posted up on the business blog as soon as I'm done over here.

In any case, onto the earrings!

I think this officially counts as a "streak" of pearly posts...

These lovely pearls were designed to match the necklace that was posted on Valentine's Day:

Honestly, while this photo isn't horrible, I'm glad to see that I've improved my photography techniques quite a bit!

The set is made from freshwater pearls; shades of green and gold meet an irregular white oval at the focal point of the necklace. For the earrings, I chose to use only the "accent" pearls, as you can see below:

I'm experimenting with a different background for the earrings-- this one shows up fairly true to color~!

I love these earrings, and I love the set they belong to. However, tomorrow I am going to try my absolute hardest NOT to make another pearl earring set. As much as I love working with pearls, I think three days in a row is quite enough of that, thankyouverymuch.

Until tomorrow, faithful readers~!

Day Twelve- I Truly Delve!

So, first things first~ the earrings of the day!

Today's pair is a special request from a friend of mine. These are brass wires, wrapped in a spiral, and ending in an onyx teardrop. I plaon recreating these in sterling silver quite soon~ and while I know that you all think the model is OH SO ATTRACTIVE, this photo doesn't show the detail as well as I'd like... so more photographs will be attached tomorrow.

And now for something completely different.

I wanted to thank all my friends and family, and those who have visited me here, for being so supportive. Since posting about my health a couple weeks ago, I have received so much love from so many people, both on here and in real life. It means the world to me, and keeps me smiling when things get hard. Since then, as always, I have had good days and bad days... and the thing that keeps me going when things get tough is the idea that I will always have people in my life who support what I do.

When Hubby and I were watching Star Trek: Voyager on Netflix, and reliving our youth, the Vulcan character (Tuvok) said something that truly resonated within me. I was surprised to enjoy a quote from this particular character, since I am pretty much the anti-Vulcan for the most part.

"Do not mistake composure for ease." 

My life has challenges, but I always try to hold myself together as well as I can. I always try to keep my head up, and keep going. Many people say that they would never have known that I was unwell, had I not told them. I don't like to complain, and I don't enjoy showing my weaknesses to people. Some seem to think that because I don't show these feelings, that I'm perfectly fine.

Even when I'm at my worst-- no, ESPECIALLY when I'm feeling my worst-- I always try to make things seem much better than they truly are.

This does not mean that I feel any less unwell... just that I try to hold myself together as best I can. And the two things that truly help me to do that, are the important people in my life, and my art. Those two things help me keep my composure through the worst of times.

What inspires *you* to keep going, when all you want to do is stop? <3

Day Eleven, Earring Heaven~

So, I'm up to day eleven. UNBELIEVABLE! AMAZING! OUTSTANDING!

... every so often, we all need to be our own cheerleader. That's just the truth~!

Anyway, here's my latest pair, made today. Was not feeling great, so I didn't have time for my fancy or pretty pictures yet. I'll add a few more tomorrow, if time/energy allows. All glass beads, with some kind of metal for "joy"~

These are the "sister" earrings to the ones I made that said "hope." I keep making these because I got a lot of these charms a while back... and while these aren't my favorite earrings ever, the message is important today. I did way too much yesterday, and as a result spent most of the day curled up in bed. It's days like this that it's important to have a little slice of joy and whimsy.

Hope you all had a great day, at least, and I look forward to a better tomorrow!

Day Two of My Challenges~ COMPLETE!

I'm so proud of myself for this pair! I made a completely different pair using those same swirling glass bead "focals". Why don't you take a look for yourself~

Inspired by the swirls in the beads used in yesterday's post, I created curly-q swirls of my own in these earrings! Brass wire was used to create the ear hooks and the mini-rings, and used the glass beads previously mentioned.

Those beads are nothing unique or overly special~ I've had them for years, most likely purchased at some craft store-- probably owned by millions of people-- but I always loved the look of them, and have just been waiting for the right project to come along. Seems as though they were waiting for these earrings!









Oh, and just for good measure? A photograph of the earrings, put together with the necklace that they "belong" to~

This necklace is actually much longer, as seen in yesterday's photo, but I wanted to capture the details on the earrings and in the glass.

Day Two of my challenges? COMPLETE!

My Pain, My Creativity, My Life

So, faithful readers, I apologize for not putting up a post in so long. This is, quite literally, the first day in over a week and a half that I have not felt completely unwell. I'm not saying that I feel FABULOUS today, but at least I'm not on death's door...


Last week, Lori (a fellow jewelry blogger, whom I follow for her beautiful work and lovely personality) wrote up a lengthy post that I truly connect with with my entire heart and soul... it is titled "Pain Versus Creativity."

See? Even the Dread Pirate Roberts understands... you should all know the caption that is associated with this photo~

The truth is, my health is frequently an issue that, until this point, I have frequently swept under the metaphorical mat. I tried not to talk about it because the more one talks about things, the more "real" they become... and this is a reality that I wanted about as much as one wants dental surgery! I have told some number of family members and friends about the details of my health, but this is the first time that I have spoken out to the community at large.

Now, I don't intend to throw a pity-party-- no one likes those-- but when I read Lori's post, I found myself crying from the emotion of someone writing down EXACTLY how I feel about things. The idea that someone else out there understands how I feel, and put in a public forum, gave me the courage to write about my situation.

I have what is known as an Adhesive Disorder, caused by Endometriosis. The situation that I am in is quite complicated, so for now I will hold off on the exact details of what is going on with my body. I'm not ashamed to tell my story, but it's so complicated that it will take much more than a single blog post. For today, though, I will tell you all what this means for me, and how it affects my life.

I am in chronic pain. Many people use the word, but few mean it quite the way that I do. I am in pain, quite literally, every second of every day-- from the moment I open my eyes in the morning, until I go to sleep at night. Pain that wakes me up in the night, from a sound sleep. Pain so severe I cry from it. Pain so excruciating that recovery from surgery is less painful than what I deal with on a day-to-day basis. Pain so unbearable that a bikini wax seems like a gentle tap by comparison. Pain so debilitating that it's hard to move around without limping severely.

Pain that will potentially stay with me for the rest of my life.

Pain that caused me to completely abandon a career path-- teaching-- that I absolutely loved.

A painting by a former student. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the one in the middle is me... and yes, I still have all the artwork from my years in the classroom. I wouldn't give up that "porfolio" for anything!

The reason that Lori's post resonated so strongly within me, is because of the words she used. "Invisible pain made me feel like an invisible person -- hiding out in a dark room, being deprived of all the things I love to do." Never were truer words spoken.

My health touches my entire life... career, friendships, finances, social outings, even my passions. There are days that I need to tell friends that I don't feel well enough to see them. There are days when I don't leave my bed at all, and I can't even knit because of the pain. Days when I can't go down to my studio and paint, or make a necklace, because it requires too much movement. In many ways I have become an "invisible" woman, especially on those days when no one sees me.

Now, I know that I am a very lucky lady. I am blessed to have an opportunity to stay home and create beautiful things. I have been gifted with an artists' soul, and the ability to create works of art. I can do anything that I set my mind to do, and I have a (hopefully long) lifetime ahead of me to do just that. I am not happy about my situation-- I don't know that I ever will-- but I am gradually coming to terms with what I have to deal with. I continue to move forward, because there is no going back to how things were before.

In closing today, I am again borrowing Lori's words, from her post regarding pain. She told her readers, "Don't be afraid to share your story.  Don't be afraid to hide your story.  Either way, the point is to make your soul more peaceful in whatever way you feel comfortable, and to be gentle with yourself." I will add to these words of wisdom, something that Lori mentioned, but in my own words. Something I tell people when they are in need.

No one is ever truly alone. Seek out people who truly care; help carry their burdens in life, and they will help you carry theirs. To all you out there, who are dealing with your own troubles and pains... you are not alone. <3